When you think of anger, do your thoughts drift towards the following images or scenarios? 

Tops blown. Profanities slung. Fists flying. And, messes that need to be cleaned up from stuff that’s hit the fan. 

In reality, those are all actions that have occurred in anger or because of anger. 

But, anger in and of itself can actually be a good thing when we learn to express it appropriately. 

How you respond (and don’t respond) in moments when you feel angry is what can become problematic both to the situation you find yourself in and for your overall mental and emotional health.

There’s a famous saying that is generally referenced in regard to negative thoughts, but I find it fitting with anger as well, “you can’t help it if a bird lands on your head, but you can keep it from building a nest in your hair.” 

Anger will come; it can’t be escaped in this life. But, how you respond and how it affects you…well, that’s up to you.  

How To Let Go Of Anger?

Just because something comes your way that evokes feelings of anger within you doesn’t mean that it has to completely control you. 

Consider the following ways to release those feelings and let go of anger:

Know Thyself 

First things first. You know you. You know your body. 

Each person’s body has a specific response to the emotion of anger. 

Your face turns red (that’s not just a cartoon feature, you know). Maybe your heart begins to beat rapidly. 

For some, it’s a pursing of the lips and flaring of the nostrils. For others, it’s clenched fists. 

There are many ways that our bodies physically denote anger. Knowing how your body responds can help you recognize that anger, so you can put the brakes on the situation before things get out of hand. 

Identify The Cause

If you’re beginning to feel angry, be aware of that and take a quick breath. Pause, and then calmly think through the issue at hand and try to recognize what it is about this occurrence that has upset you. 

Some questions to ask yourself:

• Is this something that is within my control?
• Is this “out of my hands?”
• How important is this person or situation to me? (A cause for anger amongst friends or family is a different situation than a cause for anger in a workplace environment, and even that is completely different than an instance of anger with a stranger who just cut you off in traffic.)

Some scenarios and solutions:

• Your daily commute brings about road rage. Consider taking another route or leaving at a different time to avoid this stressor.
• You are passionate about your political beliefs, but your sister has polar opposite viewpoints. You can not discuss current events without things getting heated. Consider your relationship with your sibling. If anger is the result of such discussions and is thus hindering your relationship, perhaps these discussions aren’t worth having between the two of you. 
• Your spouse uses words or phrases that hurt you. As the acts continue, anger arises. Do you value your spouse? Do you value yourself? Yes? Then both of you are worth a peaceful conversation regarding the matter. Communicate your feelings (hurt, anger), and be calm but assertive in the matter.

Take A Breather

Give yourself some space from whatever it is that has evoked those feelings of anger. 

From the simple to complex circumstances, taking a step back from the situation can help you clear your mind and (sometimes) immediately release some of those feelings of anger. 

Sometimes taking a break can just be a quick, “Excuse me, I need to use the restroom.” Then, just walk down the hall and back to recompose yourself. 

But, sometimes that breather needs to be a full day and night. 

When you’re able to, sometimes being able to “sleep on it,” can fix the entire situation…or at least dissipate anger and allow for a different perspective to develop. 

Relax

While you’ve stepped away, don’t just use the time to “stew” in your anger. 

Take some deep, slow breaths, in and out. 

Practice counting backward and forwards to ten, shifting your focus from the anger to your breath and the task of counting. 

Some people like to listen to soothing music when they feel anger arising (the type of music that soothes will be different for each individual).

Diffusing calming essential oils promotes a relaxing effect for some as well. 

Focus On A Solution

After you’ve had a chance to calm your feelings of anger and hopefully clear your head, focus on ways to improve the situation. 

Focusing on the problem will only serve to fuel your anger. And, you’ll be the one who suffers from this. 

Focus on a possible solution or simply on what you can control in the situation. 

And, sometimes, unfortunately, the only thing you can control in an angering situation is the fact that you aren’t going to let someone else’s actions rob you of your joy and happiness. 

Walk Away

Walking away…that may sound cowardly to some. And, I’m certainly not advocating for skipping out every time a situation sparks anger within you. Not at all. 

But, you know as well as I do that sometimes there are people and situations that we encounter that are toxic to their core. 

If there is a person or situation that repeatedly causes you pain or brings about angry emotions, it may be best to distance yourself from that person or situation if possible. 

This may be the only way to allow yourself to let go of the anger that is caused and the peace that you’re losing due to the relationship or situation. 

Forgiveness

Can I be honest…blunt even? I don’t care who you are or what the situation is, sometimes forgiveness is just freakin’ hard! 

Generally in situations of anger, you’ve either been wronged or you feel attacked. It’s personal. 

It’s because of the fact that it’s personal that those feelings of anger are controlling the situation in the first place, right? 

And, if you’ve stepped away, and you’ve breathed deeply, and you’ve tried to think of a solution, and you’ve perhaps even just had to walk away from the person or situation altogether…but, it’s still eating you alive… 

Then, there’s no other way to say it than this: you just have to let it go. 

But, HOW? 

You just have to let it go. You have to forgive the person. Maybe not because they deserve it, but because YOU deserve peace. 

Grudges produces within your body a toxicity that can affect you on every level. 

Seek to practice empathy. Seek to forgive. Seek to let it go. 

And, from experience, I can say that deep hurts and horrifically angering situations may need a continual practice of forgiveness long after the person or situation is gone from your life. 

That’s okay, sometimes forgiveness is an ongoing process. 

Continue seeking forgiveness. Continue practicing empathy. Continue to let it go. 

Practices To Cope With Anger

Anger isn’t just an emotion that can affect us mentally. Left unchecked, anger can cause physical harm to your body as well. 

Anger isn’t worth your health, your relationships, your life. 

Consider the above practices to not let anger control you, and not let angry situations “get the best of you.” 

And, consider these coping exercises below to keep your body calm each day and to help diffuse feelings of anger in overwhelming situations. 

Practice Daily Gratitude

It’s hard to remain angry when you keep everything you’ve got going for you in the forefront of your mind. 

Think you’ve got nothing to be thankful for? You’re reading this article, right? I know of some who will never see the words on this page or any due to blindness. 

How can you be thankful for a sister who you can’t even have a civil conversation with? Consider the one who would give anything to have a heated political discussion with their sibling who’s been gone for years now due to a drug overdose. 

Perspective-is-everything.

Focus on the good, every day. 

Breathe in fresh air, and be thankful. Move your body, and be thankful for the opportunity to do so. 

Did you have cause to smile today? Don’t take that for granted. Did you look for the opportunity to make someone smile today? Be thankful for that opportunity. 

It’s hard to let anger control you when you are focusing on the positives in life. And, they’re there, even in the midst of angering situations, I promise! 

Journal or Discuss

Find a way to get those angry emotions out. Talk to a friend or loved one. Journal your thoughts. 

Have you ever been so upset with someone that you wrote them a letter? Have you ever poured out your hurt, your anger, your frustrations…heck, forget the paper, it’s 2020…maybe you’ve even done this in a text. 

But, you didn’t send it (mail, text, email). 

Just writing or typing out your thoughts was a therapeutic process that helped you work through emotions of anger and aided in diffusing the situation enough that you could either let it go, or be prepared to talk about it more clearly with the other party. 

The same power exists in journaling…and in discussing these emotions with a close friend.

Physical Activity

Getting in a workout, or going for a walk or a run when you are feeling angry can give you space, help you clear your mind, and offer a release for those emotions in the moments following anger-filled circumstances. 

But, incorporating exercise regularly can keep “overly angry” responses at bay altogether.

When you are angry, your body releases the same hormones as it does when you are stressed: adrenaline and cortisol. Routine exercise trains your body to regulate these hormones. 

Physical activity also releases hormones that are responsible for making you feel good. 

And then, sometimes physical activity to relieve stress or anger doesn’t look like a walk, run, or weight lifting session at all. 

Sometimes a good 20 minutes with a punching bag is not only a great workout, but a great way to productively release those overwhelming feelings of anger. 

Deep Breathing

While we briefly mentioned this as a way to let go of anger, this one bears repeating. 

Practicing deep breathing regularly can decrease stress and anger and promote feelings of calmness.

You can also become more in tune with your own body through deep breathing, thus helping you to realize and deal with some things that may be causing you continual grief, stress, or feelings of anger. 

Breathe in deeply through your nose, filling your belly rather than your chest. After a brief pause, breathe out through your mouth, emptying your belly of the air. 

Practicing these things as a way of life can help you to both let go of anger and control it in a healthy way when it arises. 

Learning to control your feelings of anger can benefit you socially, emotionally, and even physically.

Can CBD help with stress & anger?

It’s known to:

• Reduce anxious moods
• Drastically improve sleep
• Ease stiff joints and muscle pain
• Soothe skin irritation
• Sharpen focus and memory

So, you tell me! 

But most people can’t tell one CBD brand from the next. They may not for example understand the value of a “full spectrum” oil vs isolated CBD oil.

Or be aware that cheap oils frequently contain known carcinogens (like weed killer).

Or that most people only absorb 3-5% of the CBD they take!

So let’s take a closer look at what sets the best apart from the rest.

Full Spectrum

Research on a new hemp extract (identified as “CBC”) shows it is an effective relaxant, making users feel at ease. 

It also showed 10x the effect of CBD on relieving depressed moods… and was an “effective antiviral.”

This is just the tip of the research coming out about the benefits of whole-plant hemp extracts…

CBG (another hemp extract) has been called the ‘stem cell’ of all cannabinoids, with research showing it boosts anandamide production (aka the ‘bliss molecule’).

It showed neuroprotectant properties and powerful pain-relieving effects.

And as the list of beneficial cannabinoids continues to grow, research shows whole plant hemp extract is 3x more powerful than CBD alone…

Because it contains the full spectrum of natural cannabinoids.  

Clean Sourced

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Because it is an excellent filter plant, hemp soaks up toxins like a sponge!

The best CBD Oils are sourced from local, organic farms AND they test frequently for VOCs and other toxins. Don’t overlook this to save money.

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Just sayin’.

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References:

• https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/757798-you-cannot-keep-birds-from-flying-over-your-head-but
• https://hackspirit.com/how-to-let-go-of-anger/
• https://www.developgoodhabits.com/let-go-anger/
• https://www.forbes.com/sites/markmurphy/2019/12/10/this-psychological-trick-will-help-you-let-go-of-anger-and-resentment-more-quickly/#495130094a82
• https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/anger-management/art-20045434
• https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ps/anger-management.html
• https://www.healthline.com/health/anger-management-exercises
• https://www.lifehack.org/568961/how-let-anger-when-you-just-cant-stop-thinking-about
• https://www.wellandgood.com/how-to-let-go-anger/
• https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/162035#health-risks
• https://www.healtheuropa.eu/antibiotic-potential-of-cannabis-cbg-compound-resistant-to-mrsa/98098/
• https://www.webmd.com/a-to-z-guides/news/20190624/cbd-as-a-superbug-antibiotic
• https://www.projectcbd.org/science/cannabis-and-immune-system